What is beyond blame? What can we find when we look deeper into blame? Lessons and intuition. Blaming is an ego-based way of seeing something… thinking it “should have” been different. Blaming is not seeing from your Soul standpoint.
Life lessons are experienced and mastered through our experiences and situations no matter what they are.
Intuition is developed in believing in our Inner guidance.
Very often it is easier in the Now to disregard an intuition or an inspiration for xyz reasons, but down the line, those inspirations are there to ease our life path. They come from our Self, our Inner Self, our Higher Self. It is up to us to collaborate. That is our free-will.
When you blame others… look in the mirror.
Not to blame yourself and feel guilty about your own responsibility into whatever there was… that’s the ego-game. And also not to become honest and “own your truth’, which you will do eventually positively and powerfully.
But first, to learn how intuitive you are, and you might not believe this about yourself, and your Highest Self, and Higher Consciousness, or Source or God whichever feels right to you.
When you blame others or yourself, and become the observer of that, you will see that you simply followed the ego-based way instead of collaborating with your Inner Self. Yes, your ego-based mind might make you see whatever as something wrong making you feel guilty, but in fact, since nothing happens without an expansion reason, all is good, and all is well. You are learning and experiencing.
We are all learning until our last breath to be the great collaborators and co-creators that we are. We are also learning to become experts through our experiences. Sometimes expert in something (else or precise), and sometimes expert in knowing our Self.
Blaming others is not taking and owning your responsibility into whatever is or was. Your co-creative responsibility. The ego-based mind loves bringing to your attention false ideas about this making you see the negativity and inaction.
Blaming yourself is also the ego showing you, why you “should not” and “cannot” be the responsible one for what is happening or happened, and that it is not your fault, either because you did not know better, or you could have not done better…. showing the negativity again and keeping you away from your Self. Everything to keep you not believing in your Self, your own beautiful Inner Self that is also You. Everything to make you believe that all the experiences you encountered “should have been different” and that you have no Inner guidance therefore you cannot trust yourself, or that you can only count on yourself, which in fact is misunderstood by many… you can (only) count on your Self, your Inner Self.
Beyond blame there are signs and intuition hidden or veiled by your ego-based mind for whatever reasons and the list can be very long.
When you take the time to stop blaming others and yourself, and for example dissect a situation, you can become honest about all the signs you did not listen to, the signs that you observed even if for one second, and the ideas that were inspired from your Inner Self that you disregarded maybe not even knowing that they were there to help you create a different reality.
The ego-based mind loves keeping control of your mental space, your negative mental space, and your awakening, because the more you become aware of your Inner guidance, your Soul’ GPS, the more the ego-based mind can take back its role of being your ally and warn you of misalignments. The more you become aware of your Inner collaboration the less you allow your ego-based mind take control of your co-creativeness.
Here is an example of what I mean, and I will be using one that does not implicate another human being.
There is this beautiful little puppy that is 99% toilet train, and for many Holiday reasons, the habits of this little puppy were changed making its habitual environment not so much habitual for a while. A new place was set to pee and poop, and everything was going great. All was good as usual. It is a great puppy. The Holidays being over, the puppy’s environment went back to what it was before.
The puppy “should have” gotten back to its usual good ways, but instead a bed suddenly started looking like a good place to pee, which never happened before not even during the night sleeps and not even during the Holidays. Making this the new situation in the Now.
Cleaning the mess every time seemed to stop it but not completely because once a while, the puppy was choosing the bed after having gone back to its good training habits, and not always the same spot. By the way, the mattress had a protector. Same ish situation in the Now that seemed to be a positive progression in a way. There was also an observation made and seen, because the puppy was often stopped before, just in time, guided to the right place when sniffing around like looking for a place to pee.
Closing that bedroom door was thought, or inspired, but it was not always convenient, so guess what? One day, the puppy took advantage of the open door that was left open for a while and went to pee again on that bed but that time it was huge… creating an undesirable situation and undesirable emotions. The situation was now a pivot point of enough is enough.
So, you see… it could be very easy to blame the puppy that made the mess and generated a lot of laundry among other things. But, it’s a puppy making a mess. Although while trained before, it can be easy to then see that the Holidays created a confusion. So the blame on the puppy can be transferred into a blame in the owner out of guilt.
It could be easy to blame the owner for not leaving a training pad in that bedroom maybe a little longer after the Holidays, to ease the way back after witnessing the puppy looking and smelling the bed for a place to pee not finding the training pad next to it anymore.
This is the ego-based mind looking for solutions to see the story as how it “could or should have been”.
The owner might have placed a trust in the puppy to end this “like today” since it was doing great 19 times out of 20 and a progression “could” be seen.
It could be easy to blame the owner for not following up on the inspiration of leaving the bedroom door close all day long or until the toilet training was back to normal checking if it was once a while. Another “could” and “should’ at play.
It is also easy to understand that maybe the owner had convenient living reasons to keep the door open and not closed all day long. A reality.
It’s all about perceptions and the angle you choose to see something. But what is beyond that to learn with or from this? A way to learn to develop intuition and a way to start trusting the Self.
Now, let’s pretend you are the owner of that puppy. You witnessed the puppy looking for a place to pee on the bed. That was a sign.
It was catching your attention in time. You chose to help the puppy back on its training pad when you were witnessing it, which seems good every time although time consuming. But it was not changing the situation itself.
And let’s pretend that out of nowhere, the puppy decided to sneak into that room to go pee on the bed once a while when you were not there to witness it. You were aware that the situation was remaining the same even if your ego-based mind made you think it “might be better”.
And let’s pretend that you thought about closing the door which you happily did, you heard the idea or inspiration and acted upon it, but you did not do this consistently because you like that light from that room and maybe thought also that the puppy “must” learn, so you decided that it was not convenient to keep it close at all times, placing your trust in the puppy ending its natural habit and you catching it until it does… generating some negative energy during that time.
The puppy is not to blame, it did what a puppy does.
The owner was not to blame, a trusted that it was settling down even though it was not perfect yet, believing in a timeline was in motion.
While you might think that it is obvious that the solution was to control the puppy’s environment during training, remember that it was a done deal and a temporary unusual situation, so the thoughts about starting over again were not present in their mind because the owner was in a train already in motion without knowing when embarking happened.
You have heard the saying… if a flower does not bloom, you don’t fix the flower but the environment. Well, I am a big believer of this. And most often than not, we do know how to fix the environment to allow the flower to bloom, or a situation to be better, or an experience to be more positive or opening to a different reality.
We know how to fix an environment or to fix our reality.
We might not always do it, but we do know how when we listen within. It also means adjust according to the present moment, the new Now, which is easy to know how to when listening within (our Self).
The signs and inspirations were there all along… but not all followed.
The ego-based mind was giving reasons not to follow them (all): it was settling down; it was a process; it was going to end soon; it was better than yesterday; it was possible to check on the puppy; it was possible to do loads of laundry; there was a better light with the bedroom door open; it was possible to be more attentive to the puppy signs, etc. All of those were solutions although not really solutioning the situation… just the bits of what was happening.
And the Inner guidance was there all along… keep a training pad longer for when you go in opening the door; and close the door the rest of the time. Easy. Simple. Positive.
The intuition and inspiration to better help and ease the situation were present and seen but not followed. While this example is one that seems easy in a few words, everything is relative, and in our day-to-day life, we can replace it with whatever comes to your mind that you are experiencing in your Now.
Do you accept that a sign you see is a sign to help you and it requires your attention for a moment? Do you take the time to listen to the signs? Do you act upon your inspirations and inspired actions? Do you question to hear what your heart or Soul is telling you through them? Do you see you make choices to follow up on them or not? Do you see that fear and other negative emotions are from your ego-based mind?
Can you see how it can help ease any experience when we do listen to signs and inspirations? Unfortunately (to use a word), we often have an ego-based timeline so we might choose not to follow the signs and inspirations because we have our own ego-agenda and it is ego-better to think we know best.
So, while I used an easy example here, this is how it happens with any situations, whether they are minor or major.
Do you have one of those situations that you know you saw signs and heard your inspirations, but you were not sure about them? You maybe doubted them. You maybe did not trust yourself enough, or did not trust their value.
Today I am inviting you to start observing your own signs and inspirations. You are an intuitive person, and you can start believing in yourself, your Self, a little more. You can allow your Self to be part of yourself and your daily life, not just when you hit rock bottom or after you have explored all the ego-based ways.
You can start trusting your positive power of creation. You can change your own reality. There is never anyone to blame… simply experiences experienced. How the experience goes is up to the choices we make.
Enjoy your mindfulness journey understanding your ego-based mind and following more your Inner guidance!
Remember to Breathe in, to let go of your ego-based thoughts and vision, to see from your Soul, and to Love out.
Dr. Nathalie 🙂