I don’t know about you, but stress comes with many components. For some it is a matter of skills; for others it is a matter of money; or it could be a matter of not feeling ready; it could be only from expectations, well, the list can go on and on.
For me it is a matter of calendar date. And I thought I was getting really good with that when I started ignoring them in the sense that they did not really matter as much as they used to. For example when a bill comes in I pay it, oppose to before and for decades, I was paying at due date because they always send the bills in advance for you to know when to pay, even business wise.
And when I decided to release all the limitations I might still have related to time, this “calendar date” came up.
So, I decided to assess my own stress factors (when I was in a stressful situation), and I took the observer standpoint of myself to see myself and where was my attention going to, and how I was releasing stress when I was feeling it and releasing it. I wanted to pinpoint what was the value in any situation that was making my stress take too much mind and body space.
So, of course, if you know how we are our own teacher and student, I attracted to myself a period of great scarcity so I could learn like an internship. When things go well and there is no scarcity in the horizon, I can manage any situation that could wake up the stress factor in me in a matter of a few breaths. When times are not going as well… same thing. When my stress factor is directly related to scarcity, no matter how much I know it will be okay, I was not able to pinpoint the factor that was not allowing me to remain in that zenitude energy and mind space I am able to be… until it was obvious.
So, one situation after the other, I was able to understand my personal process, and while I had a hint about the value behind the stress I was looking for, it is only after a few specific deadline situations that I was able to nail it down to this one thing… the obliged calendar timeline, my belief about my power over time. And the funny thing is I have been saying for years that a deadline is only a date on a calendar and it is very human-oriented or human-ruled with good reasons, but they could be moved when necessary.
One thing you might not know about me is that I am a very organized person although for the past decade, while remaining organized, I am not very good with calendars anymore because I do things without much delay, without procrastinating. This even brought me to the point that when I went to work on a cruise ship few years ago to live this experience, every day were called the city port name so we never really new which day of the week it was, and I found that very funny since I was already saying that every day is Saturday, but some days we have to work a little (or a lot). I don’t remember exactly when I did the shift in my mind but at one point, there was no more meaning to any day like some people give a specific meaning to Mondays. And the other thing is what some people might called stopping time. Very often I am doing a great amount of things in a very short amount to time, but it feels like hours or days has gone by in a positive energy, like if what I did someone else could have taken all morning or all day to do it. The feeling of being lost time but it is not because time went fast, it is the opposite, time went positively slow.
So recently with this desire to be my own observer and the desire to move beyond my ego-based thoughts to finally pinpoint my stress factor after experiencing something that made me say enough is enough, I found it. And I know I am not alone with this reason to stress.
Many times, we stress because we need to finish something for a certain date and the stress is the deadline, not the work itself. Sometimes we need to take a bus, or a plane and the stress is about making it in time for the check-in. Sometimes we need to bring the kids at school in time and we stress about making sure they are not late. You see what I mean?
The stress factor is the time is thinking we cannot control it.
I remember when my kids were younger, since we were on a “tight” schedule in the morning, I was not putting a fix schedule for the bedtime. They had a bedtime, but I was not “rushing” them to go to bed ever. It was a peaceful and fun story and singing to them time of enjoying bedtime routine no matter if it was 5 minutes or 30 minutes. I was saying then that we were rushing enough in the morning that we did not have to rush to bed at night. Already then, I knew my stress value was time, but I was not mindfully aware of it.
There are many ways you can manage that kind of stress to release it almost instantly, like calling to make an arrangement in giving dates that fits you better, or writing an email explaining the situation with dates to postpone a deadline, or waking up earlier in the morning to have some me time before waking up the kids, or waking up earlier in the morning to have the time to enjoy your ride or walk to the office or school. All this knowing that you now have free mind space not taken by any deadline. This can help you take control of your stress.
You are allowed to give yourself the time you need and not always go on other people’s deadline when you feel that it becomes the only value behind your stress.
I am not talking about using this as your reason to escape something, I am talking about wisely assessing your stress factors and addressing them, and when it is about the time itself, you are not powerless like your ego-based mind can make you believe.
You can play with time. You can enjoy time. You can move time. You can also let it stresses you. It’s your choice.
I am inviting you to take the time to think about a situation where the “only” thing stressing you is the deadline or the calendar date, and see if it is true, because it might also not be. For example, you might think it is the deadline, but you are simply not doing the work every day to meet the deadline, then this is not a deadline issue.
The difference when it is the human mandatory calendar date that is the stress factor, is that you do everything you possibly can, and you follow all your inspired actions, yet the result cannot meet that calendar date that is set but it could meet another date or another time.
Then, this might be a life lesson for you to believe that you can move and play with time… because maybe your belief about time is something that keeps you from believing in your Inner power of creation.
Remember to Breathe in, let go of your ego-based thoughts and vision, see from your Soul and Love Out.
Dr. Nathalie 🙂
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