Stop blaming yourself and stop being a victim

Sometimes either at a restaurant or in a waiting line, I hear people talking about their negative emotional trauma and how they feed a negative story blaming others or blaming themselves, not seeing their personal life lessons in that experience, and not seeing the pivot point to move and switch path it offers them; and they say how they cannot ever get over something like this, or how they hate life because it doesn’t offer them anything good. To me, they are simply not aware of it yet.

Have you ever heard people saying things like this? Or your friends or maybe it is you?

I so wish I could make you (or them) see that no matter what you experience seems difficult and a life-ending story, it is “only and simply a life experience” to help you with your personal life lessons and your personal growth and spiritual growth, and also maybe most of all, an experience helping you to change your lifestyle or habits and have the courage to jump into a new one.

You are powerful and you keep forgetting it.

We are powerful and yes, we keep forgetting how powerful we are, so the Universe helps us making sure we remember once a while that the choice is ours, and how does the Universe do this? By making sure the personal experience is hurtful enough, so we fall into pieces… into our Inner Self.

So we surrender.

So we listen to signs or loved ones, or to our Inner guidance.

So we desire something else without feeling pushed into it. It becomes something we want.

So we desire something better, and so we declare that we have enough of that experience and we want something else… right now. Most of the time it is right now because it might feel like being at the edge of a cliff through a strong wind. And that “right now” is an unsaid cry for help to the Universe. A way to surrender without maybe knowing it.

So, feeding a negative story or storyline over and over without ever seeing personal life lessons is not a bad thing. It is you enjoying the passenger seat, not aware that you can drive and learn how to drive, until you want to learn how to drive, because it is easy to drive, but yes, your ego-based mind might make it seem difficult or scary. Of course, your ego does not want to lose its controlling role.

But when you have enough of being victim, of playing the victim in your life while you could have the first role because it is your life, you will find this Inner strength within you that will give you lightness and clarity and power, which will slowly become smile and joy and happiness.

You can play the first role in your life, and I am not talking about ego-based role where you want to be on the top of the world to be in opposition to everything else and everyone else that might have done you wrong, but play the first role in your own life because you can realize your personal dreams from your today.

You can take the steps to realize them one at a time. You can tap into your own power of knowing what you want for yourself and align with it in following some inspired actions, and changing some habits by replacing with effortless new ones, so you feel good about the changes you are making.

Your mind simply needs to see different changes and they can be subtle. For example, change what you eat for breakfast if you always have the same thing; or switch the mug you are always using; or change where your sofa is so when you sit down it is at a different place; or take a shower or bath at a different time; or change the street you always go for your walk. Yes, these things might seem silly, but these are very effortless ones that will help your ego-based mind know something is changing without triggering it. Switch something you do in the morning and start doing it in the afternoon if possible and that it does not affect anyone.

Little things like these are amazing effortless things you can do when you want to empower yourself step-by-step because you are choosing that change, you are in control of that change, you are learning to drive your life.

No one told me this when I started reprogramming my subconscious many decades ago, but I was connected to my Inner Self a lot, and while I have been doing Inner work most of my life, no matter the experiences, I can tell you that I have no one to blame, not even myself.

I know deep within myself that all I have experienced were simply experiences that I needed to grow and be skillful for my Life purpose. And I like to walk the talk so yes, I have been through a lot. I am here for my own evolution and yes I chose the theme, or themes behind all experiences ̶ without knowing this when young, so I can master them through seeing my life lessons and knowing that my life lessons are only that… life lessons.

My past might not define me now, actually it never did but I was not always aware of that, but it sure did make me the person I am today, and without those experiences I could not know all that I know, and I could not help and understand like I do. I am grateful for those experiences, and I am grateful for the people that might have not known how they sacrificed themselves in their own way to make me learn those life lessons and master them.

The first step is being aware you wish some changes and accepting to take responsibility for them, so why not starting with effortless things. I am inviting you today to change at least three things in your day that are effortless for you to change. And keep at it for at least 21 days, because it takes 21 days to integrate a new habit and it takes about 90 days to make it a lifestyle.

And be kind to yourself; stop expecting to suddenly change your life in one day. Yes, of course you can change all radically… still, give yourself a beautiful 90 days to feel great about it without efforts through any kind of wind, so you don’t fall off the cliff. And remember if you fall, you only fall anyways into your Self, your Inner Self, away from your ego’s control.

Remember to Breathe in, let go of your ego-based thoughts and vision, see from your Soul and Love Out.

Dr. Nathalie 🙂

(Note: This is an edited version 2022. I am editing each blog article to bring them into their book form correcting typos and adding little things here and there to make the content complete. I thought it would better reflect its message in giving you the edited version.)



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I invite you to start reading this blog with the first article that was published April 8, 2019 and you can read your way up. Enjoy your reading!



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