(Today’s blog could be part 2 of yesterday’s blog.)
I don’t know about you, but I have this image of Higher Consciousness, or Source being an energy hub from which we are all connected to like tiny energy filaments expanding from it, making us therefore all interconnected to each other with and through the hub, the beautiful Oneness that we all are.
But my ego-based mind gets triggered once a while when I want to “ask” something to the I AM within and that I am, and it brings an unclear image/energy of God being a source, but an outside source, as within as above, but not that hub image, and that became conflictual over time. I could not shake off this ego-based mind belief or thought of this outside God that kept being pushed into my psychic atmosphere once a while, and yesterday I even made a connection between this ego-based thought of God and the education I received when young, like many did and many still receive today… of God being a He and God being an outside source.
So, while I can understand both concepts and belief as part of my beliefs now and education received, I did not know how to clear this outside image that was ego-triggered, and I also realized yesterday that I had a concept of God being a last-minute God, like the “help” or “solution” is always coming in the end, or at the end, but always like a last-minute thing. So yesterday I thought what’s with this last-minute God when I need help, but I mean real help? I did not do much about it, but I knew it had major answers for me and I would get back to it.
Well, I tried to see for few minutes where it could have become a belief, an association I once made that became a very strong belief that played out throughout my life, and I could not see any, but in my trying to find out why, I realized that even in the Scriptures, it was often a last-minute God, like the Divine help was received at the last-minute and this added to my dilemma of how can I release such a belief and resistance in my faith for some of the things when it is all great with other things? I also made a link seeing it was a last-minute thing when it was my most important request, something I did not want to give up.
So, today, I felt a deep need to receive an E4 trauma session and although I was not the one scheduled to receive it, and I was also not the one to share much personal things in our sessions, I felt a strong need to receive and share to clear this out once and for all. I truly felt it was blocking something I desired so much, and it was making me feel powerless, and I have decided yesterday that it was enough. So, beautifully Divinely done, the Soul sister that was supposed to be in the session cancelled and I claimed my space to received one, after almost backing down from my desire to clear this out. And it brought me to a place I had no idea it would take me: to a souvenir of a few minutes in front of the television screen of what was in my youth a series I was watching every Easter Jesus of Nazareth, but not the whole movie, just a close shot of Jesus’ face when he was asking why on the cross (around what was seen to me like the last minute!). Can you see already some of my connections?
And I will not go into all the details here because it would become a novel instead of a blog 😊 but this connected my dots about my “asking at the last minute for help”, about “God stepping in at the last minute to help”, about “I need my own plan to make sure I have an exit plan” among other things, it made me clearly see and understand that God is not a last-minute God, but I am a last-minute surrenderer in some situations, like the ones that matters the most to me, because I am trying every plan I can come up with before saying okay I am giving up, which is when I am surrendering not caring anymore about the outcome… which is surrendering. 😊 I also thought that Jesus was strong holding on on his own (from my young me’s perception) before asking for “another solution”. And yes again, this is how I created the belief that when you have no other options and solutions, you ask God and it will go according to God’s plan.
Of course, the story is not that but this is the root I was shown through Consciousness that led me there to find the root of my false belief that I wanted to release.
And how has this played out in my life? By me always trying to find solutions on my own, being strong, before surrendering like if surrendering was when you are too weak to fight back. By making God’s plan the one taking over mine. But mostly, by making me surrender after I have tried everything making God a last-minute God in my beliefs.
And why is this important for me to be able to release this today? Because it was interfering with my Oneness that I AM, creating a conflict in my creation and manifestation, knowing that Source, the I Am or God or Higher Consciousness is the cause and supply of all my needs and desires, yet making me think that the I Am plan was surpassing my own plan, when I am the creator of this plan. I could not step over the barrier of my plan and God’s plan, which is the same.
So now to help me with this false and conflictual belief and to release the false one, Judy, the coach doing the session said the perfect words that resonated with me and that will never trigger my ego, so the ones I am keeping active, the I Am is my silent partner.
I love this a lot.
The funny thing also is I have been saying for a few years that I was working for God inc. or Source Inc. making me an employee and not a partner. As silly as this sounds, knowing words are so important to me, these cute and funny words were very pleasing to my ego because it was making God again an outside source.
And another funny thing is I have been having a few times the idea of how it would be wonderful to have an investor in me or a silent partner, allowing me to learn some more and write as much as I want, like this, and not worrying about an income. Well, as you can see… I already had this silent partner and investor. 🙂
So today, I would like to invite you to see in this article and the one I wrote yesterday what resonates with you and take the time to meditate on it to see your own false beliefs. Take the time to sit down and read and note what feels similar to you and how it played out and plays out in your life allowing your awareness path to your awakening.
Enjoy the process.
Remember to breathe in, let go of your ego-based thoughts and vision, see from your Soul and Love Out.
Dr. Nathalie 😊
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