Recently I have been adding a new vocabulary expression to my list: making amends. Making amends is owning your responsibility, owning your part in something that happened, in which you might have blamed others, or have never realized that you were doing some harm to others; and you make amends to the person or people involved owning the part you played in it. You sort of release the blame you put on others that was your part in that story.
The slight difference that might be with saying sorry is that you own your responsibility, and, you also make/made changes for not seeing it happening again. Sometimes some “sorry” also means that.
I have been watching the sitcom Mom twice over the past months-the second time because it is a fun series, so hearing about amends became something normal.
In the spiritual warrior and entrepreneur coaching program that I am a student of, the word amends also come up when there is a talk about owning our responsibility, not to repair the past like the sitcom sometimes show creating more things to repair, but more to transmute our old self-talk and false beliefs about ourselves from the impact it left on us, to create new, positive and real ones about who we are, owning our power back and becoming real with our identity.
Yesterday I have been meditating on it and journaling about it because there is something that did not sit right with me about the “act” of making amends on past situations and events and relationships and so on that is already ancient story.
I even looked up the definition of amends and it said: “Make minor changes in (a text) in order to make it fairer, more accurate, or more up-to-date.” “Make better; improve.”
My desire was to pinpoint what was bothering me about the act of making amends.
And it took me a few hours of meditating and journaling on few past experiences to finally find out why it was bugging me.
My first language is French and there is not a one-word only that gives the same weight as amends mean in English, it is more righting a wrong in owning your responsibility long sentence. The word for word translation of réparer mes torts French-English would be fix my wrong(s). And then it became clear why it was bugging me.
While I might have in the past left a few things unsaid and unrepaired, I pretty much always took responsibility for my part in everything in my life at one point or another already, and “fixed” and “talked it through” whatever and whenever something was happening when it was happening, because I cannot go to bed angry or upset. I have been doing Inner work for a few decades which allowed me to have a different perception on life than when I was younger.
I believe that everything happens for its expansion reason, no matter what it is, no matter what it was. I truly believe in this concept and principle, making it hard for me to blame someone or something. I am more a blaming myself type of person. I will get back to this in a while. So when I could not have a “fixing moment” or a “talking it through” moment, I was going within to understand what was happening and why, before bed. The blessings in disguise, I see them all, which often allowed me take responsibilities in a calm manner the following days or weeks. The ones that were not owned, were done through the Universe’s channel.
I also believe in Soul’s “contracts” or “team work” to help one another evolve and expand and help each other to learn and master our life lessons. And I know my life lessons. Yes sometimes the ego interferes in both parties which might make it lesser fun experiences.
So, amends is making minor changes to what is/was to improve it, and because I personally don’t believe in changing a single thing form my past or any past because it was then for a greater purpose including the self-work I did after, I don’t blame anyone and when I did, that ship has been sailed all the way to port under a sunny sky in the end already.
But… this being said, can I re-write the self-talk that impacted from a few of those experiences that are self-lies and false beliefs?
Major yes or major YES.
Then, those amends to make are to myself for having carried those self-lies and false beliefs and still keeping some active in my now. I will make a good list of those because I want to gain my power back on those less desire affirmations in my database, my subconscious. I will have a date with myself like Dr. Erin said to plan, and I might have more than one. I will make a list of all the times I have blamed myself to see what energy is still active from those false-affirmations I decided then and have not yet transmuted and renew its story. Not the story of what happened, the story about myself and my identity. I have been doing this before but differently, and today it’s time that I do it again.
My first relationship is with Source, so I will make amends to Source and my Self, because I owe it to my Self to stop blaming myself and keeping those limiting beliefs active. It’s a beautiful new love story I am writing for myself, one with less limiting beliefs.
We all have limiting beliefs and each time we release some, we can see the ones that were patiently waiting underneath or the new ones we create along the way. It is work in progress, we are work in progress, with an endless work. It is freeing work.
While I shared this personal awareness from my journaling yesterday, I am inviting you to take the time to assess where you blame others still today, knowing why it happened and how it was better after so you can honestly see its expansion reasons, and be honest with yourself; do you still blame someone because the way you feel about yourself from it? Maybe what happened generated some thoughts and emotions becoming beliefs, either new ones or adding to older ones. Isn’t it time to take responsibility of you dealing with them today? Isn’t it time to take responsibility of your personal feelings you keep feeding instead of owning your power in changing them to be what you want them to be, who you want to be and become?
Very often we focus so much on the move we made, or good move we made after, that we forget the impact it left on us that we still carry in our psychic atmosphere by feeding it, that active energy impacting our now through limiting beliefs.
First, it starts with believing that all the thoughts you feed is because you choose to feed them, the beliefs you believe exist because you keep them alive and active.
Take the time to look back at articles I wrote here that can help you with that. There are too many to link only one.
Enjoy the process. I know I do.
Remember to breathe in, let go of your ego-based thoughts and vision, see from your Soul and Love Out.
Dr. Nathalie 😊
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